Amazing, but true. Sado masochism- the phenomenon is more psychological than sexual.
Probably every couple at least once tried the role-playing game of slave and master. However, all those scenarios and fetishes don't make you a sadomasochist, do they? Many people use SM paraphernalia simply to add variety to their sex life. The question arises: what then is the real sado masochism?
About sado masochism There are many myths and prejudices. But the truth is that sadists and masochists fulfill their psychological needs: to torment and suffer. And it doesn't have to be about sex. There are, for example, girls who are chronically attracted to aggressive men, and in this way they realize their Maso tendencies.
Many realize their needs at work, choosing a profession that allows them to command and dominate subordinates, or vice versa, to suffer in a difficult, poorly paid profession.
So why do people become sadomasochists? And how to deal with it?
Psychologists believe that sadism and masochism are inextricably linked. Most sexologists argue that people should not be divided into sadists and masochists. Because those who suffer regularly will one day want to torture themselves and vice versa. So roles can change.
But where does the craving for suffering and pain come from in this case? This fulfills our need for recognition, power and protection.
As usual, everything is formed in childhood. Masochists are people in whose mind punishment is inextricably linked with love and care. After all, often parents, punishing the child, show concern for him. I am punishing you for your own good. I love you and therefore treat you strictly and severely. Namely, such an educational policy leads to the fact that a person puts for himself an equal sign between love and pain. I'm being punished, so they take care of me.
Sadistic inclinations can develop when a person does not feel his importance, or even deep down considers himself flawed.
So, what to do with SM tendencies?
First and foremost: do not try to suppress these desires either in yourself or in your MCH. By force of will you nothing you won't succeed, and you can even harm yourself on the contrary. Suppressed desires usually cause a person great discomfort, and then erupt in the most unexpected form. What to do?
Try to express yourself. Find an acceptable way of self-realization for you. SM-inclinations can be realized in creativity and art. So did many, for example, the Marquis de Sade. So feel free to sublimate your addictions.
Sex is also a good way to express yourself. Agree, than to meet with an aggressive tyrant, it is better to have a normal boyfriend who will be ready to play slave and master with you. Rather than lashing out at subordinates and mocking acquaintances, it’s better to whip your lover with a whip (of course, by mutual agreement).
But the most important thing is to accept yourself for who you are. Even if you are very different from your friends, you should not consider yourself a dirty pervert. More people have sadomasochistic tendencies than you think. How many wives live in an unhappy marriage and revel in suffering instead of changing something? How many people prefer to take it out on loved ones instead of solving their problems with a psychologist? Judgment is unlikely to help someone change or become happier. So it makes sense to accept yourself and the people around you as they are. And once again be surprised at how multifaceted and diverse our world is.
Science cannot identify a potentially good or potentially bad person. It is believed that each of us, to varying degrees, has certain traits, including anger and kindness. However, it is much easier to identify the aggressor if one begins to consider the individual tendencies of the individual. Scientists have developed a test to measure sadistic tendencies. It turns out that by simple questions it is easy to identify a person who is used to hurting his surroundings.
A new word in the study of personality
In recent decades, scientific research has identified three main misanthropic traits: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. The so-called dark triad forces individuals to act in their own interests, allows them to step over the heads of their colleagues and acquaintances, offend others and not feel remorse at the same time. 
If a person is able to absorb all three of these factors, we are faced with a typical manipulator and antagonist who is not used to considering the feelings of others. But even one of these signs can annoy others a lot. Currently, some researchers believe that the dark triad can be supplemented by a fourth quality. It's about sadism. 
A term with a long history
Sadism itself has a fairly long history. People who take pleasure in inflicting pain on others are considered to be among the most notorious villains. Moreover, these personalities can be both real and imaginary (for example, the psychopath Ramsey Bolton from the Game of Thrones series). However, for some reason, sadism has not yet been so studied in clinical settings. This is partly due to the fact that the study of dark personality traits is a thankless and unpopular business. In addition, the signs of the traits of the dark triad are quite difficult to separate from each other. 
Some specific differences
Scholars who place sadism at the head of misanthropic traits recognize that its influence is difficult to distinguish from that of psychopathy, narcissism, or Machiavellianism. Thanks to the latest research conducted over the past few years, experts have been able to identify the main distinguishing features of sadism, which are specific and cruel behavior (trolling, intimidation). 
Extended test
In order to develop a test to spot a sadist, the scientists first selected 20 common items from an expanded list. The first version of the test made it possible to determine how strongly the subjects agreed with the formulation of a particular question. Each participant in the experiment had to rate agreement or disagreement with the position on a scale of one to five.
Before you - frightening revelations of a sadistic and psychopathic personality.
1. I make fun of people so they know I have control over them.
2. People do what I want because they are afraid of me.
3. When I tell someone what needs to be done, it will definitely be done.
4. I never get tired of putting pressure on others.
5. I can hurt someone, so I demonstrate control.
6. I have no problem controlling my friends with bullying.
7. When I tease someone, it amuses me. The sight of upset people gives me pleasure.
8. I care about my own importance.
9. Other people's suffering makes me feel better.
10. The pain of loved ones brings pleasure.
11. I enjoy putting others down.
12. I enjoy making fun of a person in the company of friends.
13. For the sake of looking for positive emotions, I can start chasing someone.
14. I like to deceive others.
15. I easily harm a person if he annoys me.
16. I may lie to upset someone.
17. When I take other people's things, I don't think about the consequences.
18. If someone feels bad, then I feel good.
19. Humiliating someone is not difficult.
20. Delivering torment to other people, I do not feel remorse. 
The results needed more evidence
199 student volunteers took part in the test. The results were promising, but they needed more evidence. This test has been found to be effective in both detecting sadism and other dark triad traits. At the same time, some questions fully reflect the specific behavior of psychopaths and sadists. As a result, the most general positions related to both egoists and Machiavellians were eliminated from the complete list. 
Thus, only nine questions remained to determine the tendency to sadism. Items 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12, 15 from the expanded test were supplemented with the following questions:
- It excites me watching people fighting and someone else's pain.
- I can offend someone by chance.
The second test gave more accurate results.
Based on these questions, another test was conducted in which 202 students took part. Surprisingly, the results were more accurate. They still correlated with other dark triad traits, such as psychopathy, but showed that sadism is a separate, completely separate category. It is curious that in both tests, representatives of the strong half of humanity scored the highest scores in assessing negative personality traits.
By popular demand, I took the liberty of creating a test for sadomasochism. It's no secret that I am an unsurpassed master of creating any tests: from sexual ones to predicting the future. It wasn't hard for me to write one like this. The test contains small excerpts of situations I invented, to assess your perception.
Since I write wonderfully, penetratingly, sensually, sexually, erotically, then reading them, any and every person will be able to put himself in the place of the character and easily answer the question.
Armed with pen and paper, write down each letter and the number of points that you think matches your perception. 0 to 10.
Zero = "No",
10 = "YES"
1.
Melanie, trembling all over, timidly touched her master's dress with her sensual lips.
Kiss bitch I said! - Georges, grabbing a shock of the woman's hair, with force pressed her face to his, beginning to bulge his fly. Tears welled up from the poor woman's eyes. But she wanted it, she longed for harsh words and even punishment.
Here is another matter! - rewarding with a resounding slap in the face, the woman who voluntarily stood on her knees in front of him, admired the owner.
Meanwhile, she covered the fabric of his pants with sensual kisses...
S. I am a man and I would like to be in the place of Georges.
M. I am a woman and would like to be in Melanie's place.
2.
In the life of Olga and Sergei, at first, nothing foreshadowed a storm. But, as it turned out, Sergey was a fan of pawning by the collar, and Olga was a born brawler. Coming home, he enjoyed beating his wife, finding any reason to find fault. But soon Olga made a huge scandal, demanding a divorce. Sergey swore that he would stop drinking and sewed up an ampoule for himself. But this did not stop Olga, she periodically rolled up scandals, begging for **** Julia from her missus. It seems that she was from that category of wives, who without **** Julia, how without gingerbread?
C. I am a man. My life is like theirs. I like it. And if I don’t otpizzhu her well and thoroughly, then I just won’t get up.
M. I am a woman and I live like Olga. After gingerbread, I'm just flowing, and we, as usual, have unrestrained sex.
3.
- On knees! Crawl the creature! - A woman dressed in a shiny black robe, proudly sitting in an armchair, ordered a man shaking with all the members and fibers of his soul and body, with a leather collar around his neck in a robe of similar material.
Creeping up to the hostess in his office, where Vasily Petrovich was the manager, and Nina was the cleaner, he grabbed the toe of his patent leather boot and began to cover it with kisses with ardor and excellent passion. Nina, at that time, did not much care for the man's croup, free from matter. Noticing that lowered below the baseboard, does not show due diligence, she put a good stack on his ass. He yelped in surprise and pain.
How dare you, slave! You should thank me for the pain you've been given! Domina was outraged.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, - the slave chattered, kissing his mistress's boots with great zeal and thoroughness.
M. I am a man and the story is directly written off from me.
S. I am a woman. I like: to whip a man to the fullest, and humiliate him.
4.
“Women are such creatures!”, Pierre thought, reveling in his power over a woman, quickly and ardently raping Georgette, invited to a cup of tea at his home: “They are only needed to satisfy male lust and passion.”
“What a man! A real colonel!”, - Georgette thought, resisting for the sake of appearance, Allowing her to tear all her clothes: from a brand new blouse to white socks. Looking with admiration at the panties, bra and stockings torn to shreds, she dreamed: “I wish this every day and even three times a night.” Her dreams were interrupted by a strong thrust of a manly cock into her feminine vagina...
S. I am a man. I would like to be in Pierre's place, or rather, I turned out to be more than once.
M. I am a Woman. Georgette was directly written off from me, however, a lover, then he bought me all new 3 sets.
5.
Lisa has been a warrior woman since childhood. Having reached adulthood, having mastered the oriental martial arts to perfection, she watched for lonely travelers in the city park at a dark night. Having dragged them into the bushes, rewarding them with excellent cuffs, Liza made them first lick their fronts well, because she was weak on him, and then, laying the male on the grass, raped him as she wanted. She always got away with it. Men, as a rule, were afraid to report to the police, ashamed of their inability to fight back.
M. I am a man. I like it, especially hard hitting before licking, otherwise I would never agree!
S. I am a warrior woman, this is the only thing I do with men! One even in the elevator pressed and forced!
6.
Ever since I was young, I have been reading the Marquis de Sade. My reference book was: about the sexual adventures of O. Imagining myself in the place of heroes, I had to desperately masturbate in the toilet, bathroom, in my bed. When watching erotica or pornography, I also prefer scenes, scenarios with violence
M. In these magnificent works, I liked to substitute myself in the place of heroes who experience humiliation and pain.
S. In these magnificent works, I liked to put myself in the place of heroes who bring humiliation and pain.
7.
Emmanual got bored with missionary sex, then, gradually, with hints, she began to persuade Damon to visit a swinger club or arrange a group sex at home. For a long time, the husband resisted, but finally, broken, he invited home a married couple of friends. Angelina and Sebastian turned out to be a bit of an exotic couple. Sebastian offered to tie Emmanual and then brutally rape her. Damon pledged to look at this without taking any action.
After the execution, it was Damon's turn, and no matter how he resisted, the trio bandaged him hand and foot. Angelina took a good whip through the bare places of the man, then raped him as she wanted.
Bringing a fresh air of love into their sex life, the couple now invited friends over for excusable sex every Wednesday and Saturday. It turned out that this is exactly what they lacked in family life.
C. For a woman or a man: I imagine myself in the place of Angelina or Sebastian and would love to watch the action.
M. And I prefer to be tied, beaten and raped, knowing that my soul mate is watching with adoration and lust.
Now add up the scores:
If on the letter: "C" their number significantly exceeds: "M", then you are a sadist
If on the letter: "M" their number significantly exceeds: "C", then you are a masochist
Is it the same? Sadomaza.
If you are a terry / th sadomaso or a notorious liar / iha, even in the test you lie to yourself, then the sum of the points for both letters will be the same and maximum and equal to 70 + 70.
A normal ST-echkin \ oh has a middle half of about 30-40, both obverse and reverse.
The ones that: “I'm not like that, I'm waiting for a tram” or: “I just surfed past. I looked even further ... ”, sadism or masochism tends to zero.
Comments, wishes, corrections are welcome, as well as flood, flood in the topic and not.
"Are you a sadist or a masochist?"
pure masochist
Are you familiar with frustration? You probably have siblings and have developed the habit of giving in from early childhood. By often sacrificing yourself, you end up extracting some glory and strength of character from it. By bracketing your desire, you can (as you think) subtly manipulate others. Your adolescence is associated with a period of great protests. The obedient, inconspicuous child suddenly turns into a demanding, furious ego. Today you tend to reduce everything to personal relationships (to get rid of the law, of objectivity). Hence your love of compromise, the relativity of beliefs and ideas. It seems to you that everything can be a bargain, and not once, but indefinitely. As far as matters of the heart are concerned, you are in dire need of being loved. You are ready for any obedience to please, to cajole a partner. Nevertheless, you do not refuse to use emotional blackmail, ultimatums, even betrayal (you have a taste for staging). And then always the thought that the grass is greener elsewhere (you are looking for your master).Reply With quote To quote pad
