One of the heroes of Assistov, Speculant Fred, expressed such a thought: are we really here to eat a thousand cutlets, demolish a dozen costumes and see all the issues of "Anslag"? Is it not better to perform feats or crimes until the prayer pulls the human middle pepper?
The monologue for a sticky table, besides small-graded romance, contains another, slightly shaded idea. Things do not make people happier, and accumulating anything - inspiring nonsense. The thesis is simple, voiced many times and varied. But, perhaps, still hooked for him again: talk about the movement of "100 things."
If you believe to supporters, a person for happy full-fledged life needs not so much - no more than hundreds of material artifacts. Including sofas, toothbrushes and wrench. Maybe even small collections of brands or racing cars. Surprisingly, right? We will continue.
"100 things" is not a call to ascetic. This, rather, the offer soberly take a look at the contents of the dwelling: that it's time to send from a hotly beloved to a landfill, and what to give new features. According to the results of merciless cleaning, it turns out that you live and really at the expense of hundreds of necessary devices. Do not trust?
The appearance of synthetics and cheap Chinese hands allowed everyone from us to feel like a rich. Our income turned into unnecessary things, from which there is no salvation: throw out a pity, store nowhere. And then it will be only worse: Aliexpress is a terrible alcohol and drugs. At the same time, your day has not changed, and you still wear old jeans, meat relax your favorite knife, and the path lights the phone. The rest is buried in countless boxes. Is not it?
Well, let's go to the case. I just found out that not everything we own, really needed. It remains the main thing: to figure out why to refuse too much (especially if it has already been bought and is not asking for) and how to do it right.
Saving money
You probably still think that you have no money for traveling to South America. Or the construction of the house lacks only five million. If so, forget: you have this money. Only you spend them on clothes, devices and objects of comfortable life.
A sober assessment of the contents of the basket will allow you to save significant amounts. Yes, yes, the most you can't find applications, coming out of the accounting from the fresh salary.
What to do: Take a replenish account in the bank, and when it is three or four thousand dollars on it - go to Australia. Or to South Africa.
Free space
You will probably still think that moving to a 3-room apartment will solve all your housing problems. Believe me: do not decide.
The trash has a wonderful ability to fill all the available space. Whatever your apartment, whatever your salary, know, sooner or later, all the shelves will be stuck with jars, boxes, stacks, folders and other extremely necessary in the life of hidden.
What to do: throw everything out than you do not use a year or more. Throw everything to be replacement. Throw "cool", not carrying payload. No longer buy. Never.
Mobility
You probably still think that moving to another city is something from the field of fiction. So there is: a mercilessly valuable, but the sealing sofa and the two cabinets of the clothes will not let you go to Amsterdam or in Paris. And so I wanted.
The abundance of things does not make your life brighter, more convenient or more interesting. On the contrary: the fewer attachments - the freight of you in choosing a direction. The smaller the "gazelles" with the scark - the faster and easier to move to the edge of the world. Though tomorrow.
What to do: I will not recommend you to sleep on the floor or start furniture from Ikea. Which, if that, not ashamed and leave the enemy. Choose you: Free Flying with a backpack behind your back, or some kind of roots - let a slightly bulky, but relative and cozy.
Organizations
You probably still think that life without a corkscrew and clothespins is impossible. Although it is not.
The line between ascetic and comfort is thin and invisible. Therefore, from restrained organized, it is so easy to ride in unrestrained gathering. Along the way, overwhelming the next pack of the trash "necessary in the economy of a thing." Immediately transferring the brain from the mode "necessary and enough" into the mode "you need 3 more than 3 packages of good."
What to do: Include logic and imagination when arranging living space. Weigh and present why you need a new device, where it will be stored and how soon you get tired.
Mental cleanliness
You probably still think that the depletion of your life forces is from a bad ecology and a sedentary lifestyle. Although it is not quite so.
Both the body and eyes, and reason you need a space. It is for this reason that we are more comfortable on top of a mountain or in a field than in a close elevator cabin. If the comparison is incorrect, I will explain straight: the more dashed through the corners of the room, the less space remains for you, your eyes and brain. Throw the stack of magazines and broken scooter and understand that I am right.
What to do: strive not to filling the dwelling, but to a disorder in it. This, by the way, concerns the purity of windows. So, just in case.
freedom
Finally, let me tell you a joke. Old and indestructible, but perfectly illustrating our conversation.
Somehow a young Jew came to rabbi. He said:
- Rebbe, help me. I do not know what to do.
- What happened, my son? - asked Rabbi.
- I have two goose. Gray and white. I need to slaughter one of them, but I do not know what exactly.
- Draw gray, - Rebbe replied.
- I can not: White will load.
- Well, whitewash dive.
- I can not: Gray will load.
- So zarezh both!
- I can not: I will upload ...
Rabbi scratched the head and said:
- opposite the Orthodox Church. Come to the father, tell me what and how, he will help you.
Jew did it.
- Battyushka, I have two goose. I need to be slaughtered one.
"Dir white," answered the father.
- But then the gray will load!
- Well, hell with him.
Fuck with them. Minimum things, lack of habits and affection - the main and only key to absolute freedom. Remember this. Although absolute freedom does not happen ...
"The main problems of the economy" - a refusal of some initial assumptions of the CPV model. Fundamental problems of the economy. Model CPV. Economic efficiency. Increasing alternative costs. The shift of the curve is right. Introduction to the economy. Number. Evaluation of alternative value. Good Maximum principle. Economic science.
"The Company's Economic Sphere" - the state sometimes takes on the technical re-equipment of weak units of the economy. In cooperatives is carried out self-government. Cooperative property. Own. State ownership. Possession. A typical form of such property is a joint stock company (corporation). The order is a specific way to implement the relationship between the subject and the object of ownership.
"The main issues of the economy" - ways to make economic decisions. For whom to produce a product. What depends on the choice of ways to coordinate household life. Mixed economic system. What is the essence of one of the main economic problems. Additional material resources. Private property for fixed assets of production.
"Man and Economics" are the main participants of the economy. The main manifestations of the economy. Profit. Types of business. Production is the process of creating various types of economic product. What do you know about. Man and economy. Production: costs, revenue, profits. The skill of the employee develops from special knowledge, skills.
"The subject of economic science" - happiness. Political science. What agrees economists. The theory of contracts. Social capital and "economy of lawlessness". Healthcare economy and the cost of living. Conditional convergence. Methodology. Demography. Panel data and differences in differences. Behavioral economy. Example from Russia. Recent studies.
What makes us healthy and happy throughout our life? If it seems to you that this is glory and money, you are not alone in it. However, according to Psychiatre Robert Waldinger, you are mistaken.
As the head of the 75-year-old research project for the development of adults, Waldinger has unprecedented access to the secrets of real happiness and satisfaction. In this speech, he is divided into three important lessons learned from this study, as well as some practical and old as the world, wise advice on how to provide a full-fledged and long life.
What makes us healthy and happy throughout our life? If now you have conceived to take care of your own bright future, what would you invested time and energy? In a recent survey among the Millennium generation about the most important goals in life, more than 80% answered that their main goal in life is to become rich. And for the other 50% of the same youth itself, the most important goal in life was to become a celebrity.
We are constantly staging about what you need to bet on work, zealous and achieving more. We have the impression that it is for this that you need to strive to live better. The full picture of the life taken by people of solutions and the consequences of these solutions - this picture is practically unavailable to us. Most of our knowledge about human life is based on the fact that people remember from their past, and, as you know, we don't have 100% of vision in the past. We forget much of what happens to us in life, and the memories are sometimes distorted beyond recognition.
But what if we were able to see life completely the way she was in time? What if we were able to follow people from adolescent to the oldest and see what actually makes them healthy and happy?
That we did. Harvard studies on the development of adults can be considered the longest study of adulthood. For 75 years, we watched the life of 724 men for 75 years, asked them questions about work, personal life, health, and all this time asked them, not knowing how their lives would be.
Similar studies are extremely rare. Almost no project of this kind takes up to ten years or due to the care of too many participants, or due to the cessation of financing, or because of the new interests among employees, or because of their death in the absence of followers. But by a happy coat of circumstances and thanks to the perseverance of several generations of researchers, this project survived. About 60 of our initial 724 participants are still alive and participate in the project; Most of them for 90. And now we are starting a study of more than 2,000 children of these people. I am the fourth project manager.
Since 1938, we study the lives of two groups of men. At the beginning of the project, participants from the first group were students of the second year of Harvard College. They all graduated from college during World War II, and most of them went to war. The second group we studied by us was a group of boys from the poorest districts of Boston, who were chosen for research precisely because of their belonging to the most disadvantaged and disadvantaged Boston families in the 1930s. Most of them lived in removable apartment buildings without water supply.
At the beginning of the project, all young men were interviewed. All passed medical examinations. We came home to them and spoke with their parents. Then these young men became adults, each of them with her destiny. They became factory workers, lawyers, builders and doctors, and one became even president of the United States. Some of them became an alcoholic. Some have developed schizophrenia. Some rose on the social staircase from the bottom to the top, and others made a trip in the opposite direction.
Founders of the project Even in their most intimate dreams could not imagine that I would stand here today, 75 years later, telling that the project was still going on. Every two years, our patient and dedicated employees call our participants and ask if they can send them another questionnaire with questions about their lives.
Many of the living in the center of Boston are asked: "Why do you continue to study me? There is nothing interesting in my life. " Graduates Harvard such questions do not specify.
In order to clarify the picture of their life, we not only send them an account. We talk with them in their living rooms. We get their history of the disease from their doctors. We take blood from them, we scan their brain, we speak with their children. We write on video their conversations with wives about their deepest problems. And when about ten years ago, we finally asked the wives about their desire to participate in the project, many of them answered us: "Yes, it's time."
So what did we know? What lessons extracted from tens of thousands of pages of information accumulated about their lives? So, these lessons are not about wealth or glory and not about hard work. After 75 years of study, it became extremely clear to us that good relationships are happier and healthier. Point.
We learned the three main lessons on the relationship. The first is that the relationship with people is very useful to us, and loneliness kills. It turns out that people who strongly have a connection with their family, with friends, with the community, happier, healthier physically, and they live longer than people deprived of societies of other people. And the state of loneliness, as it turned out, poisons. People, isolated from others more than they would like, feel less happy, their health deteriorates earlier, the brain functions of such people denied earlier, and their lives are shorter than those of people with neoplace. And the saddest thing is that whenever you asked, at least every fifth American answer you that he is alone.
And we know that you can be lonely in the crowd, you can be lonely in marriage, so the second lesson you have learned is that it's not about the number of friends and is it if you have a constant steam, but as this relationship with loved ones People. As it turned out, life in a state of conflict is extremely harmful to our health. Conflict families, for example, where there is not enough love and affection, very detrimental affect our health, it is perhaps even worse than a divorce. And life in a good, soulful is a defense for us.
When our participants have become far in 80, we wanted to go back to the middle of their lives and see if it was possible to predict who would be happy, a healthy 80-year-old man, and who is not. Having gathered all the information available we have when they were 50, it turned out that the non-cholesterol was at that age served as they would be in old age. This turned out how well there were their relationships. People who are most satisfied with their relationships in 50 years have become the most healthy in 80. Good, warm relationships serve as a certain buffer that protects us from the blows of fate, from transforming into old people. The happiest of our couples, when they were already in 80, they said that even in moments of severe physical pain, they did not leave the feeling of happiness. And people with unresolved relations in the days of exacerbation of physical pain suffered even more because of the pain emotional.
And the third assimius we assimilated the lesson about relationships and health is that good relationships protect not only our body, they protect our brain. It turns out that reliable and strong attachment towards another person when you are in 80, protects you, and people who are in relations where they can really rely on each other in difficult times, retain good memory longer. And people whose relationships do not allow truly relying on each other, memory problems are observed much earlier. At the same time, good relations do not mean complete cliffness. Some of our 80-year-old couples can continue day and night, but as long as they feel that they can count on supporting the other when it becomes hard, these quarrels do not harm their memory.
The truth is that good, close relationships contribute to our good well-being, old as the world. Why is it so difficult to learn and so just to neglect it? Yes, because we are people. We prefer momentum solutions, we would get something, from which our life will be better and will remain. And the relationship does not have guarantees, they are complex, confused and require constant effort, the returns to the family and friends, there is no shine and glamor. And no end. This is the work of all life. In our 75 years of study, the most happy participants in pensions were people who actively made from colleagues on the work of comrades for games. Just like the generation of Millennium in the recent survey, many of our men, joining adult life, sincerely believed that wealth, fame and great achievements are what they need for a full and happy life. But again, for 75 years, our studies have confirmed that the people who have made a bet on the family, with friends, with like-minded people lived.
What do you think? Suppose you are 25, or 40, or 60. What does this in relation to?
Opportunities are practically not limited. It can be a simple replacement of time at the time of time with people, the revival of invalid the novelty of the relationship of some kind of new check together, for example, a long walk or a date at night or a call to the relative, with whom you did not talk about one hundred years, because all these too well acquaintances We are afraid of the terrible pile to those who drag on other malice.
I would like to finish quotation from the brand of twee. More than a century ago, looking back at your life, he wrote: "There is no time - so short life is on the squabbles, apologies, bile and calling to the answer. There is only time to love, and it is, so to speak, there is only a moment. "
Good life is built on a good relationship.
Ecology of life. People: Most Millennoalov, that is, current young and working believe that for happiness they need careers, money and glory, but not a relationship ...
TED-TALK presents the results of the longest study of happiness in the world.
(with translation, turn on subtitles)
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/ucxd71u0w04qcwk32c8ky2ba/videos.
This study began in 1938 in Harvard. Two groups were selected: one consisted of Harvard students (boys), the second - from the boys of the poorest families of Boston, most of which houses did not have a water supply. In total, about 800 people participated in the study.
Throughout life, every two years of boys, and then men, examined doctors and psychologists, they were given tests on IQ, interviewed them and their loved ones, they took blood from them and scanned the brain. In fact, it was originally research not happiness, but health. Researchers wanted to find out what prevents heart disease, lifespan, etc.
And here is the total of 75 years of this incredibly massive correlation:
(drumroll)
health and happiness is reliably connected with the strongest (without competitors) only with one thing, and this
(drumroll)
A good relationship. That's it.
Three main lessons:
LESSON 1
Loneliness kills. Single people more sick, less happy and before dying. Their brain works worse, cognitive functions are reduced earlier.
Close relationships are protected from all this.
Lesson 2.
The most interesting thing is not the number of social connections, but in their quality. You can be lonely in the crowd, you can be lonely in marriage. Bad relationships, such as conflicting marriage, cause strong damage to health, and, understandable, happiness. At the same time, trustful and close relations in marriage have the opposite effect.
Lesson 3.
Last But Not Least, good relationships protect not only the body, but also the psyche. In 80 years, the memory is reliably better in people who have a partner on which you can rely. This feeling "can be relooked" is key. Such couples can arrange long moves and often have conflicts (in fact, conflicts are needed for good relationships), the main thing is a sense of unconditional trust and security.
What is sad
It is sad that the gigantic percentage of people feel very lonely - about 20% of Americans. It would be interesting to know the data from us.
It is also sad that most of the Millennalev, that is, the current young and working (most of these lines read) believe that for happiness they need careers, money and glory, but not a relationship.
Participants of the study also thought. But they were mistaken. And now we are mistaken.
Thought: today is Saturday. Where are the people in the morning? "I will not tell you for all Odessa," but I know that Saturday is the time store ... "Auchan" and other shopping centers, the horror of our life. And I do not think to offend anyone. Naturally, I make purchases in Auchan, when I am in Moscow. But always, with relief, coming to the checkout, I think that I visited the nightmares country. Huge carts, full of all sorts of either, a lot is taken by the only case that today it is on the ruble cheaper ...
Is it really possible to eat all this, squeeze, devoured, absorb a week? Or is all families from twenty people? Or all these Saturday crowds are preparing for the wedding? Or ... One of the first of my American impressions of almost fifteen years ago: Giant carts in a supermarket that pushed huge people, elephant people to extremely obesity. Not old, but buried under their own fats. A terrible impression as a symbol of consumer society. And I did not want to rejoice and admire the fact that everything is there.
Is this what is the main goal and happiness of life, her meaning to be 20 shelves with toothbrushes? 50 shelves with toothpaste. And so on, otherwise, and so on ... We have achieved this. Implemented. We stubbornly imposed and imposed the meaning of the life of an individual in the society of consumption. The meaning is simple and understandable. You live to buy. You are born to buy you (follows the list ...). You grow and the list of things grows with you ... You study - wonderful, the list is added. And now you have almost formed. You need and eat, and get dressed (no worse than others), and a machine (a certain brand), and a computer, and a mobile phone, and .... how good you are! After all, so many shopping centers and corporations need you, a person!
You must urge your life for the race for clothes, frustral, prestigious brands of what you want to make prestigious those who jerks for threads of your desires. No need to have you been thinking, reading, reasoning. You will spend in vain the time released to you on making money that you must then spend on the goods. Consume. In one hole let out from another to release. Finally, the meaning of life was designated in his entire simplicity. A person must be raised so that he has formed needs to consume as much as possible !!! And notice: because from all sides try to make primitive ruminant animals from people.
I look at the photo of my thread that they were raised. Lovely faces. Smart eyes .... they were much deprived of a lot. Weekends spent reading or walking in the park. There were exhibition, theaters, art galleries in our lives, river trams on Moscow-river, movies ... a lot of things remember. But I tried to remember shopping. So that for the whole day. To nightmare full. There was never this. Imagine? There was never that they go to the store just like that. To spend time. Look ... to have fun ... I ran for bread and behind the milk. From the first class. That heavier, adults brought together - between the business ... I had to stand in the queues, it was. But it was considered a horror and disadvantage of life. In his will in the store no one day spent! I remember how I bought a coat in the fifth grade. Came, chose and bought. They walked behind the coat, chose and gone. Point.
Time was sorry. So many joys and pleasures around! And these joys did not require terrible investments and challenges. Walk - joy. Lectures at the university, read by the best professors militant - come, attend ... Museums ... How easy we gave yourself to drive yourself into slavery! Understand, I am not for everyone to go, ugly and colorlessly dressed. I am not for ensuring that people eat it is incomprehensible than. I am against poverty and poverty. But I for people looking around, searching for other landmarks. For the fact that the only life should devote to no consumption for consumption, but searching needs - That is, the present meaning of human life.
And an example from the book of Ariel Sef "Born in Ghetto".
Her parents lived on the war richly: was a famous doctor, mother got a huge legacy. But the Germans came to Lithuania. "While the Father was in prison, the Germans broke into the apartment, accompanied by Lithuanians. (...) We arrived on two trucks with a list. The list was quite accurate. My mother had what to take: all the property left, - paintings, silver, Diamond necklaces purchased on some exhibitions on travel in Europe. All family values \u200b\u200bwent to her. (...)
A pregnant mother, some German or Lithuanian put a gun to the stomach and demanded to convey everything on the list. Mum did not resist. Everything was open, not locked. That took everything, literally everything, including furniture. Trucks left the covet (...)
After the war, Mom became completely indifferent to things. Fully disappeared interest. She did not buy dear furniture, dresses, jewelry, although her opportunities appeared. (...) She had only two or three dresses. "
I have noticed more than once that people who have passed through serious tests, as if cleaned by traction to things. They see and understand other values \u200b\u200bin life. There are so many of them that things in this list become completely superfluous.
It makes sense to look for these values \u200b\u200band then when life, fortunately, develops safely ...
Without what we can not and do not have the right to do?
Love for me
To talk about love for himself has become popular in recent years. The idea is as theoretically very close to everyone. But how to bring it to life and what, in fact, should this love be expressed?
On vacation in the beautiful Mediterranean hotel, my compatriot is gaining from a buffet breakfast breakfast: fish, sausage, ham, cheese, buns of all kinds, yogurt, salads, pies, cakes ...
- You need to love yourself! - She explains to me. - Bearing yourself, loved.
Love your neighbor as yourself
Great gospel instruction.
And it contains the ideal of human world order. Love for the neighbor should be born exactly to the extent that love for themselves. Any violation of this balance leads to tragic disproportion.
Will you love yourself and not to love your neighbors? And how can you exist among unloved? A solid negative will be collapsed on your head, from which love for himself will instantly wage.
Will you love your neighbor, forgetting about yourself? Oh, and it will be too close to your love! For the love of an unfortunate person is always cruel, demanding and despotic.
Millenniums ago about this already said. And repeatedly repeated. It is a pity that not everyone is heard:
In each of us lives a small child. We grow, blooming, become old. And the child remains himself. If we forget about it to take care, it becomes cruel and embittered, eternally frightened and from it aggressive.
To feel happy, we must take care of your inner child, as we would care about the baby, which were lighted.
We are correct (by the hour and in accordance with the testimony of his health) feed it.
We adhere to the routine of the day.
We delight him, learn, entertain.
We carefully bring up it.
We are strict, but never cruel.
We teach his life among other people.
We never scare him.
True love is always based on respect. Resperating person will not allow himself a low mouth in his own eyes. He and alone with him the same as in the eyes of many. Once in someone else's house, he will not be rummaged in other people's drawers, respecting himself. He will not take someone else, respecting himself. It will not participate in the discussion and condemnation of others, respecting himself. He will also not be indulged by gluttony and laziness, remembering that his only life could not be embedded so Magnifying and thoughtlessly.
Yes, we grew up in difficult, unkind world. Starting from kindergarten, we faced disrespect for our personality, unceremoniousness. In the slightest occasion, the complex of guilt was cultivated. We were intimidated by punishments and descriptions of possible consequences. And now we just do not understand how to start loving yourself. In us, such a program is simply not laid.
It's time to create it!
Loving yourself, I:
- I accept my problems and imperfections. I am such (or such), what is it! Unique, the only one. In something unlike the rest. But from this I am not worse and no better.
- I think positively. I am achieving the goals set. My words: i want - I can - do.
When you are in a group of those who want to get rid of the excess weight of the ladies, you immediately see, who this will turn out quite easily, and who is unlikely to succeed. The first are set up for success. They joke, smile, share experience. The eyes of the second emit distrust. They are waiting for a trick. They are ready for a negative result. They demand that they are convinced, but still remain in their opinion. They really do not work! They simply firmly and unshakably configured on it. - I do not allow yourself anger, irritation, envy. After all, all this naturally turns against me.
- I refuse frills in food.
- I do not kill my health festival, Neho, inaction, tape.
- I calmly perceive the vital adversity, without frightening myself.
- I am soft, tolerant, kind (soft, tolerant, kind) with you.
- I'm looking for good sides in everything.
- I do not scold myself.
- I try to keep the word given to myself. If for some reason it does not work, I calmly analyze the reason for the promise violation. I can gently crush myself. But I will never mentally rude (rude) with me.
We are obliged to answer your life. We cannot afford to neglect your interests. Once a long time ago, I wrote a rigid phrase of the psychologist Perlz Fritis: "I live in this world not in order to justify your expectations. And you live in this world not to justify mine."
We will not expect from other all sorts of delights, a deep understanding. Let's create such a life yourself as striving. If someone should have someone in this world, then we ourselves are ourselves.
We want to change something in yourself or in your life ...
Each our thought affects the condition of each body cell. Thought negatively, you can aggravate your illness, drive yourself into a dead end of grief and suffering. On the contrary, positive thoughts will strengthen and enjoy you. Let's send all the power of our Spirit for the better!
- We tried to look at ourselves from. A real look dictated the need for change.
- We defined the goal.
- We realized that it prevents us in achieving the goal.
- We chose funds to achieve the goal.
- We have compiled a plan of action.
- We act. We go to the goal until you reach it.
Below are the installation phrases-beliefs that set you on a serious, long-term return process to yourself. Write these beliefs. Let them always be at hand. Read them several times a day.
