It's a big mistake to think that if a guy thinks you're cute, you're on your way to a serious relationship. No matter how it is! If he's impressed with your looks, you're more likely to be on the right track with him ... to an easy flirtation followed by a stormy night together without obligation. The man to whom you show attention will, of course, rush into battle in order to quickly take possession of the prey. And you will have another wonderful evening with a passionate night. That's all. And, as a rule, no serious intentions on his part.
A reasonable question: what does the right first step to a serious relationship look like? You need to settle in his head. Make him think about you. Constantly. To make him admire you, be intrigued, try to figure you out! This may happen before or after the first flirting, or flirting may not be needed at all. Physical attractiveness in this matter is not the main thing, although, of course, you should not discount it.
Before moving on to practice, that is, dating, it is worth assimilating the main points of the theory. While some of the tips are controversial, they definitely work.
1. Be self-sufficient!
If you are suffering now and think that if you had a boyfriend, life would be completely different, then you have to do something about it. There are always very few people willing to pull depressed people out of their swamps, but everyone instantly flocks to bask in the radiance of a happy person. If you truly enjoy your life without a man, it will be very easy for you to find a loved one. Remember: you don't need a guy to “complement you” or make you happy, and he can't do it. You are perfectly capable of enjoying life right now and today, regardless of whether you have someone. Make your life interesting and be grateful for what you have. It's great, of course, when you have a loved one, but to be happy, it is enough to be happy, and that's it!
2. Exude confidence!
No one can think of you as beautiful and amazing if you do not think so yourself. What is your self-esteem? Do you think that your company is a gift for a man, or are you afraid that everyone is bored next to you? Don't forget that you are the hero's reward! And not at all for everyone, it is completely normal that all men in a row do not like you. Your main task is to be confident in yourself and your charm! If you cannot believe that you are really a tidbit, work on yourself, in the end!
Take action! What do you dislike about yourself? Fix it! Talk to someone who can help, don't sit back!
3. Be elegant
A couple of years ago, one of the famous glossy magazines conducted a survey about which image of a girl is most attractive to young men. It turned out that 67 percent of guys find attractive ordinary "earthly" girls who live, for example, in the neighborhood, and only 12 percent of respondents like vamp women oozing sexy, "sex bombs". What conclusions can be drawn from this? Beauty is in naturalness. It's time to stop trying to tease men with provocative clothes and bright makeup. The only thing you get with this is erections. Not love. If you are the owner of a good figure, do not succumb to the temptation to show off all the charms overnight. No need to go to extremes and wear worn sweaters, just be a little more elegant in your choice of clothes.
4. Since you are not a couple, then you are free
It may sound somewhat mercantile, but dating is a kind of shopping, where everyone "assesses the price" or "shows the product with his face." By the way, men are always more active regulars of such shopping. Girls can be shocked by the idea that you can go on dates with two or three guys in the same period of time, while men do not think the same thing about women.
Therefore, while no obligations have been stipulated, everyone is free to dispose of themselves at their own will. As the song says: "We choose - we are chosen."
5. There must be some kind of mystery in a woman ...
6. The old rule still works
The strongest love relationships arise between soul mates. Sex is not an assistant here, but rather the opposite. You need to go through mutual sympathy to friendship, from friendship to love and, ultimately, to sex. Postpone sex as long as possible until both of you get to know each other better. This is the case when the sum changes from the permutation of the terms: sex in the first days of acquaintance can complicate the process of the emergence of friendship or even put an end to further relationships.
And in general: guys appreciate the long thorny path to victory!
7. Do not make scenes for him, you are not even a couple yet!
Do not vent your resentment at a guy if he, in your opinion, hesitates and cannot make a decision about your place in his life. John Gray in the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" compares guys to rubber bands: they can step back for a while, so that later they can "fly" into a woman's life with renewed vigor. If he needs some time to think, give him that time. If it appears - well, meet it calmly, without pretensions and reproaches. If it does not make itself felt for more than three days, just continue to live your normal life, do not cling to it and do not attack with calls. Because by doing this you only block his path to return. If you emotionally demand from him to be there, he will not return: he will know what awaits him: accusations, tears, misunderstanding. Men hate dramas. The only possible way for reconciliation is long conversations to sort out your feelings and desires. Keep calm.
It is not entirely fair to say that marriage is the end in itself for every woman. But there comes a certain period in life when many of their halves want to hear the phrase: “I love you. Will you marry me?". But weeks, months, even years pass, you are still together, and the man still has not uttered these cherished words ... What is the reason? After all, you love each other, you two are good. Maybe a woman should figure out the situation of creating a family herself and understand how to push a man to a wedding?
Why does a man not propose
Sometimes a woman blames herself that she is not worthy of her chosen one, doubts whether she is loved, since the man does not propose. Do not rush to draw conclusions in this situation. Find out for a start: perhaps the man is an inveterate bachelor and is very satisfied with the current state of affairs? The young man meets with you, it is convenient, but he is in no hurry to “spoil the passport with a stamp” and register a marriage. Even if you live together and run a joint household, this is how a man feels absolutely free.
There are other reasons when a man is in no hurry to propose to a woman, to go to the registry office: the wedding is not included in the plans. The guy is at a crossroads: is this woman next to him to stay close to old age? What if an even better party will meet tomorrow? Sometimes a man is naturally timid; here a woman needs to take the initiative into her own hands. Another common reason is household problems. Without his own home, permanent job, a man is in a "suspended state" and does not want to risk his joint future, postponing the marriage proposal for better times.
Fears of men about marriage
The fear of a man of losing independence and freedom is only a part of the experience. To a greater extent, young people are afraid of the unknown associated with a new stage in their lives. Worries about the fact that with the beginning of an official family life, the number of responsibilities and household worries will increase, there will be little time for personal hobbies and interests, sometimes they are partially justified.
In most cases, it depends on the woman how the man feels on the eve of the wedding, whether there are doubts about the correctness of the decision. Mutual help to each other at the moment when it is necessary to step over this line called "wedding" will be able to promote peace, love and harmony for many years. Everything that happens in life, or vice versa, does not happen, depends only on the man and woman.
How to help your loved one decide to get married
If you see that the beloved man cannot decide on a responsible step and make an offer on his own, you need to provide help, start a conversation first. An intelligent woman will never persistently beg for an engagement ring and a wedding; she will gradually accustom a man to the idea that marriage will not bring bad things into a relationship. After going through several stages of psychological preparation, the guy himself will come to a decision about the wedding.
Talk about marriage casually
If you firmly believe that life paths should go side by side, in one direction, unobtrusively occasionally mention important events in the life of other people with whom you are familiar. For example: “How beautifully the wedding of Irina and Nikolai was decorated in a retro style, but in their place I would choose a romantic type of marriage. On the shore of a reservoir, with a flower arch and a fluttering veil - I even dream of such a fairy tale about love. "
Such hints are less frightening for a man than directly said: "I saw an advertisement for a wedding dress, I want the same for our wedding." Feel the moment more appropriate for a subtle conversation. Do not rush things, it is difficult for a man to rebuild his worldview in relation to married life. When you periodically bring up the topic of the wedding, the man will take it as a topic for reflection.
Mention your future together
Sometimes a man does not understand indirect hints and it is easier to grasp the essence of the conversation if he hears female phrases: "When we live together ...", "If we can solve the common housing problem ...". By observing the reaction, you will understand whether the chosen one is ready to develop this topic of conversation. If he avoids talking about love, marriage, then you should not press. Carrying the idea of \u200b\u200ba wedding in her head, a woman should be prepared for the fact that it will be a surprise for a man and it will take time to sort out his desires.
Let him see you as a "future wife"
In a serious relationship, a man should see in you not only a beautiful woman whom he loves, but also feel that you can become a reliable partner with whom it is not scary to live together for many years, lead a joint life, raise children. You, as a woman and a self-sufficient person, will be independent, will be able to build a career, have hobbies and hobbies. Then it is easier for a man to understand himself - is he ready to continue the conversation about the wedding.
Let the man understand that you are a good housewife, you understand culinary issues at a sufficient level, you can help to improve your home, if necessary, you will help to cope with the disease. Seeing in you more positive mood, less tears and tantrums, a man will understand that you have your own positive views on family life together.
Develop his fears about marriage
The worries of a man on the eve of the wedding that the chosen one will change for the worse after the day of the wedding can be easily dispelled by talking openly. By granting the right to ask frank questions and get the same answers, you can reassure a man, because he has the necessary information in his arsenal. Hint - you are not going to put any pressure on any matter, everything will be decided only by joint discussions.
Let him understand what he can lose
If, after going through the preliminary stages, the beloved has not decided what he really wants: to continue the free life of a bachelor or to be close to a loved one, try to make it clear that a woman like you will not be alone for long and will find a worthy replacement. Allowing some time to think about the question, clearly state that you do not intend to wait forever for a man's insecurity to go away on its own. If you do not receive an answer within the stipulated time frame, leave the man, even if it will be difficult. So this is not the chosen one. The presence of self-respect has not been canceled.
Put the question bluntly
Remember that the goal is not parting, but a long, happy life with your loved one after the wedding. The questions posed as an ultimatum will diminish resolve. Some men are frightened by the categorical nature of women: "either - or". Be patient: when you no longer have the strength, just tell your beloved about it, without making harsh statements. By applying pressure, it is unlikely that you will achieve the quick result that you need in this way.
Make an offer yourself
It may sound somewhat strange, but sometimes men expect decisive steps from a woman and deliberately do nothing themselves. Self-doubt and the fear that a woman will refuse, paralyzes a man at the very thought of it. If you understand that the chosen one is one of such people who are accustomed to playing the "second violin", feel free to take the initiative. Someone has to be decisive in the family, let it be a woman.
In our modern world, when women keep pace with men, this method does not surprise anyone. If you are sure that the guy is ready for marriage, but is not able to utter words of recognition and propose to you, take the reins in your own hands, act and speed up the process. Explain that the ring finger ring is very important for a woman as a symbol of eternal love, not a limitation of action. Make a surprise - tell him yourself that you are ready to marry him.
Phrases that will push a man to propose
Don't be surprised if talking about marriage in a man triggers a fireworks of emotions ... He can quickly become irritable: "Let's talk later!" or sincerely bewildered: “Why is this necessary? Extra chores, because we are already close! ". Once a popular song read "I'll never marry you." But a man is not always so categorical. Let us help the chosen one to understand with certain phrases what it is for, first of all to himself.
- "A wedding can be organized without unnecessary fuss."
Sometimes men are trite to be afraid of the wedding preparation process. They are frightened by unfamiliar relatives, whom they do not even remember, but they cannot not be invited. Traditional pigeons, ring cushions and endless toast can be annoying. Offer your man a modest registration, spend the money saved on your honeymoon in private, away from friends and acquaintances.
- "Married men are easier to move up the career ladder."
According to statistics, married men earn more and get promoted faster. The status of a married man in the eyes of society has a weighty argument; this person is reliable and independent if he knows how to support his family.
- "They won't let you in without a marriage stamp."
There are unforeseen situations when a person ends up in intensive care, where only close relatives are allowed. The absence of a stamp in the passport will play a cruel joke - when help is urgently needed, the loved one will not be there.
- "Adopting your own child."
A child born in a registered marriage is issued a certificate in just half an hour. In a civil marriage, the procedure is complicated and delayed. Acknowledgment of paternity, adoption costs many nerves and financial costs.
- "It will be easier to resolve legal issues."
In an official marriage, it is easier for spouses to get a mortgage for housing by writing powers of attorney to each other. Insurance companies always meet halfway if one of the family members has a document allowing to dispose of the policy of another.
- "Feeling confident in marriage."
For you, this is most likely the most important point, so do not be silent, say these words out loud. A man who is ready to marry looks like a serious person, ready to make decisions and responsibility. Give an example of the difference between a contracted employee and a formal employee. The confidence given by the fact that there are several lines in the work book cannot be compared with anything. This is the case with the official registration of marriage.
The relationship between a man and a woman is a normal phenomenon, and the process is quite complex. In the process of building a sufficiently strong relationship, both of their participants become closer and closer to each other. Probably one of the first important stages of a successful relationship is getting married. It is believed that all girls are only sleeping and see how to put on a beautiful white dress as soon as possible and exchange gold wedding rings with their young man, having fastened strong bonds with a painting in an official state document ...
Probably, indeed, most of the fair sex certainly desires such a turn of events in their lives. These girls and women are patiently waiting for their cherished hour, when they can happily shout out "Yes! I agree!" But, unfortunately, not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy this moment of real happiness and they have to wait for a long time. In this case, the lady has such questions: "Why am I not offered to get married?", "How to push a man to propose?" You, too, faced such a difficult situation in your life and do not know your man at all, do not understand why he is so slow and want to speed up the process of your rapprochement? This article on how to nudge a man to propose was written just for you! We wish you a pleasant reading!
Understand your desires
As strange as it may be, before you push a man to propose, you really need to understand your desires. What do you want from this marriage and why do you need it? Do you want to get married because all your girlfriends have worn a wedding dress a long time ago? Do you want to have a certain status as a wife in society? Do you want consistency, certainty and some kind of guarantee of a strong relationship? Listen to your inner voice and think about how you are building the question in your mind. Do you want to know how to nudge a man to propose, or how to get him to invite you to marry him? If you chose the latter option, then you are thinking completely wrong. If you want a normal marriage, you shouldn't force a man to propose to you. This is a completely extreme case of action ... To begin with, we will act differently.
Light hints a la "look at our friends' weddings!"
This option is perfect for those whose friends and girlfriends have already begun to tie themselves by marriage. When a vivid example of newlyweds appears before your eyes, it becomes much easier to cope with the question of how to push a man to propose to get married. Hint, cite, and remember your friends' weddings often. More often, but at the same time unobtrusive. Just a couple of words about your girlfriend's beautiful wedding dress and the dreamy question "into the void" about how your wedding dress will look will be enough. Perhaps your man will also begin to assume some plans and even introduce you in a white dress ... In any case, this will remain in his subcortex of consciousness. And a smart man will also understand where this sudden conversation is leading ... If this plot does not suit you, let's move on to the next plan of action and find out how to push a man to propose!
Viewing a film on a wedding theme
Why don't you two in the evening after a working day sit on a soft sofa, taking with you a variety of sweets, and watch a movie? After all, the fact that the film will turn out to be a wedding comedy or something else in the same spirit is pure coincidence. While watching a movie or after that, you can ask your loved one a question: "How do you see our wedding?"
Of course, most likely, at first your man will be a little shocked by such a question. Don't worry, this is a normal reaction. Well, if your loved one really started thinking about what that day will turn out to be, that's a good sign. You manage to lead him to such thoughts ... At first, some persons may be stubborn, but try again with naive eyes to ask him to think about how it will be. Submit it. If a man persistently leaves such a conversation and is somehow annoyed by this, then here you should go to the advice of psychologists. They will be discussed below.
What do psychologists say?
How to nudge a man to propose? The psychologist's advice is that you and your beloved should just talk frankly about this topic. Without any vivid quarrels, scandals and everything else. This option is most suitable for those women who really think that their man is afraid of something or is somehow still wary of the fact that your relationship can be registered at the state level. The conversation should start with the words: "Darling, it seems to me that you do not want to make our relationship official. Just tell me why?"
Make sure your tone and your appearance are calm. You have to make it clear to your man that you are just determined to talk to him calmly and "like an adult" without any quarrels. The further plot of the conversation depends only on the answer that will then follow from your man.
What if he is afraid that after the wedding you will restrict him more?
Calm him down. Promise that nothing will change in your relationship. You just need the status of his wife to feel more confident, more secure. To help you believe more in the depth of your relationship, explain to him that this step to the next stage means for you that he is really serious about you and is not going to leave you. Of course, everyone understands in advance that after the wedding you will really start to limit him in something, because, most likely, many of his habits simply will not correspond to his new status as a loving husband ... But now all this is not important. It will be possible to return to this topic only a few months after your wedding. For now, prove to him that his usual life will not suffer in any way after your betrothal.
"Twice on the same rake? No way!"
How to nudge a man to propose if he was already married? Most likely, his last marriage was not entirely successful, and only therefore now he cannot afford to make the same "mistake". First, it's worth finding out why he thinks marriage is bad. What caused his last marriage to fall apart? Compare yourself to his past wife, if possible. Consider whether you could break the bonds of marriage for the same reason that his last marriage broke up. Prove to him that everything will be different with you, and you are different. If you already have a fairly strong and serious relationship with this man, then you should know that all is not lost.
Living together but not married?
How to push a man to propose if we live together? Nowadays, many couples decide to move in long before the wedding. This allows you to get to know each other better and seriously reflect on whether you are ready to live with this person for the rest of your days. After this, a man should not have any problems with fear of marriage. But if for some reason he is still hesitant to offer and all the previous methods do not help you, go to extreme measures. Pack your things and move to your parents, friend, hotel in case of emergency! Tell him that you can no longer live like this. And until he decides to take an "important" step forward, you want to live in a different place from him. Tell him that you will wait until he gathers his thoughts and decides to propose. But time is not rubber ... After all, the clock is ticking, your years also go by, but this relationship is still standing still. So, it's time to change something.
Sly way
When your man asks you for some advice or something like that, show him your right hand and ask if he sees a ring on your ring finger. At first he may not understand, but eventually he will answer that he does not see him. Answer that this is a sign that you are not his wife, which means, based on your status, you are not able to give him wise advice and so on. At first it will be perceived as a joke. But if you repeat this method more often, then, believe me, it will work ...
On this, perhaps, everything. We wish you good luck, a beautiful wedding and a happy family life!
A girl in love usually dreams of marrying her boyfriend as soon as possible. But many men are in no hurry to propose. Time passes, couples often live together for a long time, but decisive action does not happen. In this case, the woman needs to take the initiative into her own hands and push her beloved to take decisive action.
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You cannot force a man to marry, but you can make light, unobtrusive hints. If the couple still does not live in a civil marriage, then girls should avoid it in every possible way. By agreeing to live together, a woman begins to perform all the functions of a wife. A man loses interest in getting married, because his half is already there all the time. A woman should become a so-called trophy for her beloved, so that he dreams of living together and imagines how good it will be for them together.
What is the right way to hint a guy to propose?
You can take it by cunning. There is just one question to ask and you need to prepare in advance. To do this, for a few days or even weeks, the girl should not bring up the topic of marriage. You need to be kind, flexible, gentle, ideal.
Then she should choose the right moment. During a romantic dinner or a walk under the stars, firmly take your beloved by the hand and say with regret in your voice how sad she is that they cannot get married. Try to persuade him.
A normal man will immediately respond with a counter question, or he himself will voice the reason why they cannot get married. In the first version, to the guy's question, the girl should answer that if they are still not married, then something is bothering them. A man will think and understand that he has no good reason not to marry. And then she will understand the desire of her half, how much she wants to get married.
If the chosen one names such reasons as lack of money, lack of an apartment, etc., the woman should explain that it is important for her to be together, and material values \u200b\u200bare not the main thing for her. The man will think again and in the near future he will decide to propose.
According to the advice of psychologists, you can instill anxiety in the chosen one. To do this, the girl needs to cancel several dates, citing busyness or a headache. On the weekend, go away with your friends and just talk less about your business. The psychology of a man is such that when they feel that a previously docile, quiet and docile girl has begun to move away, they again feel her "prey" and strive to conquer. Many of them in such a situation will rush to make an offer.
What cannot be done?
When a couple has been together for a long time, a woman can ask a man about his intentions. If he does not plan to marry her, then his answer will be like this. The partner is not afraid of losing this relationship and speaks directly about it. In this case, the woman immediately needs to end such a relationship.
- 1. You shouldn't tell a man that he makes a woman waste time on him. This is her conscious choice, no one forced her to live with him. You need to be able to take responsibility for your own actions.
- 2. Do not force a man to see a psychologist to discuss his fear of marriage. If he loves his chosen one, then there is no fear. But if a woman decided to marry him to herself, then the man will come up with many excuses.
- 3. You should not be led by a man and agree that marriage is just a formality. If he is not ready to marry, then his love is not real and he is still in search of the best chosen one.
- 4. Disagree with the fact that if a man has already been married, then he does not need to marry again.
- 5. Do not wait for a man to solve his financial and work problems. They will never end. If he decided to marry, then no problems and worries will prevent him from doing it. And then their hands and hearts will be united not only by love, but also by the official recognition of the relationship.
