The secret of the practice of a child psychologist is that in most cases, parents come for a consultation together with the baby in order to solve their own problems. So let's talk about parents now.

What do parents need to raise a happy child? They themselves need to be happy people and harmonious personalities. The most important law of an adult is the necessary setting of goals and their achievement. From the life history of successful people, we see that at the very beginning of their lives they had specific dreams, plans, goals. Jose Silva, a parapsychologist from the USA, once collected all the research on this subject together and created a methodology. According to her, people's thoughts, their intellect, thinking have the power to control the consciousness, subconscious, and, consequently, the future of a person.

Jose Silva believed that when setting goals, you need to consider three points, thanks to which you can achieve a result.

• Wish. First you need to really want to achieve the goal.
• Conviction. Then you need to be convinced that your goal is real and available.
• Expectation. And finally, you need to be in a state of expectation - you must always be ready for the result.

What does all this have to do with raising a child? The most direct. The disorganization of the mother as a person creates many problems, in which the children are ultimately to blame. Suppose there is mother N., she wants her daughter M., 5 years old, to learn to skate, but nothing works, although she tries very hard, takes her to a good coach. How can the Silva method help here?

1. You need to analyze what is important to you.

Why did you decide to send your child to figure skating? So that you can be proud of him at exhibition performances, devote time to yourself during training, feel like a successful mother, or because your daughter has already grown up and she needs to go somewhere, do something? Or maybe because your mother-in-law and other relatives tell you that you are a bad mother, since your child does not play any sports? Think about what motivates you, find the truth so that figure skating is useful for the child and you, and not for your relatives.

2. The goal must be long term.

In relation to our topic, for example: "in a year the child will perform complex pirouettes on ice." A perfect dream!

3. Divide your goal into several steps that need to be thought through in detail.

   Let's say:

   • September 1 - we buy a training backpack. It can be a beautiful pink backpack or a sports bag like mom's - it doesn't matter. We give it to the child before the first training.
   • September 2 - the first training. In the evening after kindergarten, we get into the car with the child, give him a backpack, and tell a story about a famous athlete, a figure skater who competed at the Olympics, and we talk about it on the way to training.
   • September 5 - the child refuses to go to training, she realized that it was difficult to perform the exercises, that the coach was strict. She screams, refuses to go to the skating rink, says that her stomach hurts, wants to go for a walk, etc. No need to follow her lead, we do everything like yesterday.
   • September 9 - draw a calendar with your child “Well done, you skate great”, decorate it colorfully and hang it on the wall. After each workout, you stick a beautiful flower in the right box.
   • September 14 - we give out the first award "A real athlete who went to training for two weeks", it can be exchanged for a new toy.
   • And so every two weeks, then a month ...

Such a step-by-step method will allow you to achieve results without losing your goal and without worrying about nonsense.

4. Record all steps on a piece of paper.

This practice will help to tune the subconscious mind in the right way, allowing you to move faster in the right direction.

5. Celebrate wins.

They are not daily. Is your daughter skating on her own? Hooray! After all, until recently, she could not do it. Did your daughter do her first exercise? Fine! Record this success and buy a cake. It is impossible to win the battle without such small achievements.

You need to understand that it takes time to achieve the goal.

Parents often demand too much from their children. Simultaneously teach to read, dress and skate? Isn't it too much of a load? Think about what is more important for you, and most importantly for the child, start from this.

Good luck in making your wishes come true! Rest assured, the children will show you a great example of achieving the right goals.

Press the keys ctrl+d to bookmark the article.

When children set and achieve their own goals, their self-esteem and self-perception change, which positively affects the child's academic and personal future. However, for many, even setting a goal is an almost impossible task. It is often a learned skill that requires adult help, support, and motivation. Our 10 tips can help:

Early start is the key to success

The foundations of the structure are laid by helping to select a goal to strive for. For example, if a child wants a new Lego set or a toy, help him with advice: let him save up pocket money until there is enough for the cherished purchase. For those who are older and, for example, want to get a good grade, help him understand how to "eat an elephant in pieces."

Make a wish list and ideas

To make sure the goal is child-centered, make sure it comes from the child and not from you. Your ideas can count too, but for a child to be truly motivated, the goal must come from the child.

Write down your goal on paper

Make sure the goal is clear and understandable. Let the child indicate why this goal is important to him.

Hang this piece of paper in the nursery or on the refrigerator, where he will see it every day. If you have a creative streak, then you can make a whole DIY project out of it: decorate with a frame, or add a graph that will demonstrate progress and closeness to achieving a goal.

Formulate goals

Describe to the child the big picture and what steps will be involved in achieving his goal. Breaking up a large segment into smaller segments helps children focus and gives them a sense of control, predictability, and a sense of accomplishment along the way to the ultimate goal.

Borrow someone else's experience and ideas

Use books, DVDs, ready-made lessons and other people's example to better understand how to set and achieve a goal.

Overcome obstacles

Be prepared for obstacles along the way to your goal and have a strategy ready to overcome them. Warn the child about this, try to explain that such situations allow them to improve their problem-solving skills and become better.

Set a target date

Time frames allow the child to keep himself in good shape and feel the urgency of the situation.

Follow the progress

Celebrate the achievement of the next small goals with medals, stickers, notes on a piece of paper with a written goal. This will increase the degree of motivation of the child.

If necessary, adjust the time frame

Remind your child that sometimes unforeseen circumstances arise that will get in the way of achieving a goal within a given timeframe.

Support and motivation

Be interested in his goal, mood, problems that have arisen. Try to support your child as much as possible in the process of moving towards the final goal.

And, most importantly, set a positive example. Talk to your child about your own goals and how you achieve them overcoming obstacles.

As each child grows up, starting from birth, draws conclusions about himself primarily from the words of others and depending on their attitude. This question is most acute when the child comes to school, to a new team, but the main experiences come in adolescence.

To interest a child so that he likes to study is often not so easy. Parents have to put a lot of time and effort into this. When patience and fantasies run out, psychologists come to the rescue.

Is your baby refusing to eat? Is your child not eating well and you can't get the baby to eat at least something? Is child nutrition a sore subject for your family? You are not alone in this problem. Many parents are very worried that their child either eats or does not eat at all. This problem is as important and relevant as ensuring the safety of children at home. And what to do to avoid battles with the baby at every meal?

Uncontrolled outbursts of anger, unbridled rage - such feelings do not color anyone. Especially if adults yell at children. Familiar? “Cooling down” and then remembering their unbridled outbursts of anger, there is dissatisfaction with oneself and an acute sense of guilt in relation to one’s child. How to cope with bouts of aggression and be calm parents?

In today's world, stepfamilies are common. Society is calm about new marriages between spouses who already have children. However, for children it is a big stress. Often, the union of two families leads to rivalry between half-siblings.

Experts from the World Economic Forum in Davos have identified a number of skills for building a successful career in 2020. Among them - complex problem solving and the ability to make decisions. And these factors depend on the ability to set goals correctly. So how do you teach kids to achieve what they want?

Often children confuse goals with dreams. Some people want a real dinosaur under the bed or study at Hogwarts, while others want to be able to play chess or know English in order to travel around the world. To prevent the child from being traumatized by the fact that some dreams do not withstand the onslaught of reality, it is worth discussing what he can actually achieve.

This will allow you not to get hurt about failures caused by the very fact of impossibility. We are talking, for example, about your own dinosaur at home. Learning to distinguish one from the other is the first step that will save the child from unrealistic expectations.

Think about the power of a child

Children may not yet realize what helps them overcome difficult situations or find their place among others. Not to notice their abilities, character traits, that is, everything that is their strengths.

The exercise “Smile of my strengths” will help to highlight them successfully. To do this, invite your child to remember what he can do well: draw, solve math problems, make friends with others, cook desserts? Let him name it himself. If you notice that a daughter or son is not paying attention to something significant, add. After that, together highlight what traits, skills, or abilities of the child lead to success. To do this, draw the sun, from which the rays depart. On them, the child writes what he likes about himself, as well as his own traits, skills that helped in various situations. For example: stubbornness, curiosity, sociability.

The successful completion of the exercise will be answers to questions under the sun: “What am I proud of?”, “My biggest success is ...?”

Start with a short term goal

Once your child has identified with your help what he can rely on to achieve what he wants, it's time to move on to discussing the goal. Ask what the child would like to achieve in the near future, improve or learn. The best thing is to choose a goal that can be realized within one to three months. This will help the child to make a step-by-step plan of their actions without undue anxiety. If you know that it is important for your daughter or son to see the results of their efforts as soon as possible, write down a goal for the month.

Real goals strengthen self-confidence and help the child feel positive about himself, not be afraid to try.

Think together about the following:

• Is the goal real?

• Is there enough time allotted to achieve it?

• Is the goal appropriate for the child's current abilities and abilities?

• Is the target attractive enough? Is the child ready to act for its realization?

If not too much, keep asking and searching. Be sure to invite your child to take extra time for the goal - in case of unforeseen situations. At least one week. Explain that you can't plan everything in life, so extra time will save you from disappointment. .

Develop a plan to achieve the goal

Once a goal is set, help your child visualize how they will achieve their goals. To do this, use a large Whatman paper or board. Then such a plan is good to hang in the children's room as motivation.

Draw a straight line labeled 0%, 25%, 50% and 75%. At the top, write the time it takes to achieve the goal and the goal itself. Ask the child how he will understand that the goal is achieved. It should be as specific as possible. Then write down, for example, that 100% is to learn 100 new words in English by October 1, 2018. Accordingly, at the 75% mark, we write that it will be 75 words.

Then, for each of the marks, we write the time for its implementation: "I will learn 75 words - until September 24, 2018."

Encourage the child to understand how he wants to measure whether he is moving towards the goal or not. For example, the goal is: "I will go swimming twice a week during September." Then 25% - "I went swimming twice", respectively, 75% - this is six times.

When a part of the goal is reached, it can be colored or marked, then the child will orient himself in the next steps and in the scale of what has been done.

Teach your child to notice their work

Seeing the work done visually is especially valuable for the youngest students. The child motivates himself to action when he notices his own contribution. To do this, use stickers or drawings, notes.

Divide the sheet by the number of days for the goal and stick a special sticker or draw a mark. Together with the child, you can choose several different stickers: the first (sun) - I did a lot for the goal today, the second (animal) - I did enough, the third (asterisk) - did nothing. Find out how other children achieve what they want

Books will come in handy where the child will find heroes and difficulties close to him. For example, the book “Business Mages. How to become a real wizard" by Sergei and Natalia Shcherbakov. The main characters Maxim and Masha have a goal - to collect 400 UAH on their own and buy air lanterns. When a child seeks to understand his emotions, the book "My grandfather was a cherry" by Italian Angela Nanetti will help. And thanks to the book "Anton and other misfortunes" by the Norwegian writer Skretting Gudrun, children will learn how the heroes Anton and Ine coped with reconciliation and help to their relatives.

Reading develops the ability to analyze, and thanks to the problematic situations of the characters, the child learns new ways to achieve goals, cooperation and mutual assistance.

Article on pedagogy: Goal-setting techniques for preschool children

Sidorova Marina Ivanovna, teacher of additional education, MAUDO "TsRTDYu "Constellation" of Orsk", the city of Orsk
Material Description: I bring to your attention an article that describes the goal-setting techniques used in working with children of senior preschool age. The material is intended for teachers of additional education working in Early Development Centers, educators, school teachers. Teachers can use the article to speak at meetings of the MO, pedagogical councils.

Target: Familiarization of teachers with goal-setting techniques for preschool children
Tasks:
- to acquaint teachers with special knowledge and practical skills in the field of determining the topic and setting the goal of the lesson together with students;
- to teach how to use goal-setting techniques in practice;
- to improve the skill level of teachers.

Traditionally, at the beginning of the lesson, the teacher named his topic and clearly stated the goal, which immediately suggested subject-object relations, in which the goal is, first of all, obtaining knowledge. Modern pedagogy requires the ability to recognize other goals as well.
“Knowledge is only then knowledge when it is acquired by the efforts of one’s thought, and not by memory” (L.N. Tolstoy).
The strategic goal of modern developmental education is the education of the personality of the child as a subject of life. In the most general sense, being a subject means being the master of your activity, your life: setting goals, solving problems, being responsible for the results. The main means of the subject is the ability to learn, i. teach yourself.
A goal is something that you strive for, something that needs to be achieved.
Modernization changes in preschool education give freedom to the teacher in choosing the forms and methods of teaching preschool children. The main result of modern education is that the child has learned how much this contributed to his development, the formation of the integrative qualities of the personality. The form of education chosen by the teacher should contribute to the formation of intellectual operations, create conditions for creative problem solving and initiative, teach independence and responsibility, and exercise children in the ability to arbitrarily control their behavior.
To date, the problem of the content of preschool education is being developed, new means are being researched and introduced into the practice of educational activities.
The first task is to develop the child so that he can and wants to obtain (and not receive) knowledge, to acquire skills and abilities.” “What is development? This is not only an increase in knowledge, skills, skills, but also the transformation of a child into a renewed person, the transformation of knowledge and skills into abilities, into opportunities for free activity ... A developmental activity is not an activity of ready-made truths, but an activity of searching for truth. Its sign is the student's doubt in his knowledge and even in what the teacher says. It is with doubt that search and creativity begin, it is doubt that arouses interest and shows the emergence of interest ... The usual lesson teaches you to answer. The lesson of development teaches you to ask” (Davydov V.V.)
The formation of cognitive skills and abilities is possible only in the process of playing activity, which is the basis for the development of the student. Game activity is understood as a special form of a child's activity aimed at changing himself as a subject of learning. In other words, the child must learn to learn. The ability to learn, which is formed in play activity (and only in it), stands out sharply from a number of all skills. “The appearance of this skill marks a revolutionary event in mental development: from that moment on, the child from being taught, being led by an adult, becomes the master, the subject of his own development - a person who teaches himself, changes himself consciously and purposefully.” (Elkonin D. B.)
The reorientation of children's thinking from results to methods of action is possible only in the process of solving goals and educational tasks. But what does it mean to set a goal or task for a child? It is not enough just to put forward them - the task formulated by the teacher must be accepted by the student, that is, become his own task. The question to be answered in the lesson should become the student's own question, otherwise he will receive from the teacher an answer to an unasked question that does not interest him and dispose of this answer in the same way as any person disposes of random information that he himself did not look for, did not request: maybe he will be interested, maybe he will “leave it on deaf ears”.
The setting of the topic and the learning goal is associated with two fundamentally important “discoveries” of students:
1) they must discover that they don’t know something (they don’t know how to solve a problem);
2) they must want to solve this goal, strive to solve it.
Goals should be:
- Diagnosable.
- Specific.
- Understandable.
- Describing the desired result.
- Real.
- Incentives (induce to action).
- Accurate.
- Personally significant for pupils.
Consider the principles of setting the topic and goal:
1) The introduced concept should be extremely general, so that subsequent topics act for children as a specification, clarification of the first topic.
2) Before introducing new knowledge, it is necessary to create a situation of vital necessity for its appearance.
3) Do not enter knowledge in finished form. Even if there is no way to lead children to the discovery of something new, there is always the opportunity to create a situation of independent search, preliminary guesses and hypotheses.
4) The teacher identifies children's questions and together with the children determines the topic of the lesson. As a result, the children conclude that it is necessary to think about how to get out of a difficult situation together.
Some goal-setting techniques
Bright spot situation
Among the many objects of the same type, words, numbers, letters, figures, one is highlighted in color or size. Through visual perception, attention is focused on the selected object. The reason for the isolation and generality of everything proposed is jointly determined. Next, the topic and objectives of the lesson are determined.
For example, the topic is "Number and number 6".

2 4 1 6 3 5 0

An exception
Reception can be used through visual or auditory perception.
First view. The basis of the "Bright Spot" technique is repeated, but in this case, children need to find something superfluous through an analysis of the common and different, justifying their choice.
For example, the topic "Wild Animals".

Second kind. I ask the children a series of riddles or just words, with the obligatory repeated repetition of riddles or a proposed series of words. Analyzing, children easily determine the excess.
For example, on the topic "Insects".
- Listen and memorize a series of words: "Dog, swallow, bear, cow, sparrow, hare, butterfly, cat."
What do all words have in common? (Names of animals)
- Who is extra in this row? (Out of many well-founded opinions, the correct answer will definitely sound.) The learning goal is formulated.
grouping
I suggest that children divide a number of words, objects, figures, numbers into groups, substantiating their statements. The classification will be based on external signs, and the question: "Why do they have such signs?" will be the task of the lesson.
Topic: "Designation of the softness of consonants through a soft sign"
1. Organizational moment
- The one who correctly names the month will sit down
- First month of the year (January)
- First month of spring (March)
- Month before May (April)
- Month after May (June)
- Last month of summer (August)
- The shortest month (February)
- The year ends, the winter begins (December)
- Midsummer (July)
2. Stage of goal setting. Knowledge update. Theoretical substantiation of this skill.
- Determine what is the last sound in the word?
What two groups can these words be divided into?
- What is common in the sound of the names of the months of the 2nd group? (A soft consonant sound is heard at the end of the names of the months)
What letter will you write at the end of each month name? (letter b)
- Why? (Since it denotes the softness of a consonant sound)
- What are we going to do in class today? (Indicate the softness of consonants with the letter b)
conjecture
For example: "Designation of the softness of consonant sounds with vowels"
I. Organizational moment.
II. Introduction to the topic of the lesson.
- We already know a lot and know a lot. Therefore, one very famous fairy-tale hero turned to us for help. He doesn't like to study very much. He says he knows how to eat and play outside. And he doesn't need anything else.
He doesn't know anything...
Do you know him...
Answer me without hiding -
Who is visiting us? (Dunno)
- Dunno at the lesson wrote sentences under dictation and did not cope with the task. Clever Znayka did not give him a single point for his work.
- Read the sentences carefully, look for mistakes. Think about what material Dunno did not learn? What does he not know?
yo
The boat floats on the river.
yo
A fast plane is flying.
yu i
Luba and Raya make a snowman.
- Dunno didn't learn how to use vowels to soften consonant sounds. Can we help the stranger?
- We have to earn 5 points for Dunno by completing 5 difficult tasks.
- So, the topic of the lesson is "Designation of the softness of consonant sounds with vowels."
Problem situation
A situation of contradiction between the known and the unknown is created. The sequence of application of this technique is as follows:
– Independent solution
– Collective verification of results
– Identification of reasons for discrepancies in results or implementation difficulties
- Setting the goal of the lesson.
For example, “Sounds [x-x,] and the letter “Ha”.
Purpose: to introduce students to the sounds [x-x,] and the letter "Ha".
Lesson progress
I organizational moment.
Teacher: Are you ready? Everything is ready?
We don't rest now.
We are starting to work.
The teacher invites the children to sit down, sit comfortably and listen to one story.
ІІ Presentation of the topic and purpose of the lesson
Teacher: Today we have to get acquainted with a new letter and sound. And with what, guess.
Teacher: this story happened in a fairy forest, in which a mischievous, cheerful hamster lived. He wanted to know everything, and studied diligently, just like you (the image of the Hamster appears on the screen). But an evil sorceress lived in the neighboring forest, and she did not like the curiosity of this animal. She got angry and bewitched him, taking his name. But she left such an order: (an image of an evil sorceress appears, a voice-over sounds) “The one who puts a lot of skill and effort, having completed all the tasks, will be able to disenchant. For correct execution, you will receive letters from which you will make the name of the Hamster. Flowers with numbers that I scattered with you will help you find tasks.
Teacher: what did the evil sorceress do?
Children: bewitched the name.
Teacher: And whose name did she conjure?
Children: Hamster.
Teacher: What is the first sound in the word "hamster"?
Children: Sound [x].
Teacher: Did we get acquainted with the sound [x] and the letter “Ha”?
Children: No.
Teacher: What is the topic of our lesson?
Children: Sounds [xx,]; and the letter "Ha".
Teacher: Yes, that's right. What should we learn about the sounds [x-x,] and the letter "Ha"?
Children: (The teacher corrects the statements of the children).
Teacher: Today we will characterize the sounds [x-x,], find out what letter they denote, but for this we need to follow all the instructions of the evil Fairy and return the name to the hamster.
Summarizing the material on this topic, It should be noted that goal-setting methods can be different. It depends on a number of factors: the type of lesson in the cycle of classes on a given topic, the age characteristics of students and their level of proficiency in the subject, etc.
But you must always remember that obligatory conditions for the use of goal-setting techniques are:
- taking into account the level of knowledge and experience of children;
- availability, i.e. solvable degree of difficulty;
- tolerance, the need to listen to all opinions, right and wrong, but necessarily justified;
- all work should be directed to active mental activity.
In the classroom, it is quite difficult to organize the setting of a topic and a goal and solve a learning problem, but it is possible. The teacher needs to think through every step, every question, every task so that the goal becomes
“own” goal for children, so that children understand the significance of this goal and the need to solve it.