Jokes about bath and sauna

IN The village was headed that on Saturday women were clean, and on Sunday - men.
However, a couple of years ago, the bathman of Bartholomew is completely seeded, and the bath day did one. Common. Baba then thought for a long time, and then quickly agreed. And the peasants quickly agreed, and then they thought for a long time ...

P Rikin, my sister was chick. She changed the man and went to serve in the army.
"But she will have to go to a bath with men." Who - neither be sure to pass!
- Who will give it?

V. IP-sauna presents a new service: "Now we can also get out!"

FROM Found in the bath three: director of the brewery, journalist and excavator.
And each to the knees ...
The director - belly, from a journalist - the language, from the farmer - hands ...

P Omal man Golden fish and guess her desire to experience an orgasm with his wife at the same time. A week later comes to the fish and says:
- Othen desire!
- Why? - asks the fish.
- Yes, it's inconvenient as it turns out: we sit with friends in the bath, drink beer and suddenly I cum out!

J. ENSE BANK BOARD URGENTLY WINDOW WINER MOERS. Men from 25 to 30 years old with a stable psyche.

IN I do not go bath. In feminine are not allowed, and in men you are not interested.

P Petka from Vasil Ivanovich to the bath.
Began to undress, here Petka says:
- Vasil Ivanovich, you are even dirty than me.
Chapaev replies:
- Well, they eat, I'm older than you.

ABOUT well village bath. Men werehed. Healthy hairy ambal stands out, his little son runs next to him, gliding on the soap floor. And then running by my father once again, he clogs, and falling instinctively enough for a member of the Father. The boy, pulling up on one hand per dick, looks uncertainly on his father. That laid chest looks down and calmly says:
- Ooo a son, would go to a bath with a mother, he would have broken his head!

D. The man came to the bath to go down. Just enter the steam room, as they immediately pop out with screams and mats because of the unbearable heat. Go to the director and everyone tells him. That
- Well, the guys understand you. We have a new banker, does not score in any way, he used to work in the crematorium.

P Rope young specialist on the village to serve his three years in distribution.
Determined him on the post; ON asks the mistress:
- Where is your sauna?
- What is the bath, son? We wash in the river
- And in winter?
- How many of the winter there? ..

J. Yanskaya bath, couples, sparkled bodies ... suddenly a naked man appears!
Baba squeezed, but the man soothes them:
- Baba, yes I'm blind! Soon everything is accustomed, already asking to lose their back.
And suddenly alone:
- Blind, yes, you fuck me ... che!
- Oh! And I do not see!

P Richel man in a bath.
Caught in the buzz, pleased that joyful leaves the wage to the pre-banker ... And suddenly he discovers that he forgotten the towel at home. Lucky looks around and then notes the announcement on the wall:
"Citizens, please do not wipe the curtains!".
With a satisfied smile exclaims: -Oh, and this is a thought !!!

H. Opoor after the bath, especially the first month ...

IN Two friends are stuck:
- What is your nose with a flat, boxing engaged?
- No, my glass in the female bath.

- IN Leanter, scattering the members of the sentence "Vanya with Masha went to wash in a bath"
"So, here it means the main dick - Vanya, Masha - to be, the bath is a pronoun, well, and it is a pretext.

P Arena and girl decided to go to the bath. Suitable, and the guard is at the entrance says: "A young man! We cannot with your own!"

IN Bath Two kids saw a naked man with a big belly.
Ask him:
- Uncle, and what's in your stomach?
- Bomb.
One quietly says to another.
- Let's blow it away.
- Dangerous. Fitil is very short.

N. Again on the Women's Bath: Entrance with Eggs is prohibited!

ABOUT Tec with a little son wash in the bath.
- Dad, - Shows the son's finger, - Do mom have such a thing?
"No, son," Father sighs, "the mother doesn't have such a thing, she uses mine."

- P Riven, dear! I'm in the sauna. Here, everything, as you usually say: No women, alone men!

M. Ultra of the intelligent type at the box office:
Is the bath functions?
From the cashier. -Chevo-Chevo?
- Well, the bath is working?
From the cashier: -Ah! Works-works!
And hot water circulates?
From the cashier. - Chevo Chevo?
- Well, hot water is?
From the cashier. - BUT! There is - there is water!
- Then give me a ticket for one person. From the cashier.
- What! And what, you won't wash your ass?

IN CE. Fix. I will go to work in the bath bang.

T. EX, who we do not like, we send to the bath, and those who like, call in the sauna.

IN Ban.
Babulka lies on the top shelf.
Downstairs stands a young girl, washes,
Storing gently your body, rubbing honey, etc. And admiring himself.
Granny her:
- Beautiful you are very, girl ...
- Yes, beautiful (flirty so)
- Probably guys are behind you and run, there is no penuck?
- Yes, run (more flirty)
- And you do not give anyone, probably ...
- I do not give anyone (proudly)
- Then Taaaaaaa pose, girl ...

C. What is the "contrasting soul"? - This is when you leave the sauna, and you are celebrating her husband and your wife!

FROM Auna "Just Wash" suffers losses and regrets the initially incorrectly chosen policy of the company.

M. Delican and wife came to the bath, and the bathman says:
- I do not let you down in one room!
Guy: - How? Well, my wife!
Banchik: - And so! Of the principle.
What kind of cleanliness I was imprisoned - for the fourth time today goes to bathe.

IN The female branch of the bath includes a man, a screech, a squeak - Rather in the men's department !!!
- What am I a Gomick you?

BUT NCA washes in the bath, and Vasily Ivanovich peeps. Petka all goes around and says:
- Let me see, well, let's see.
- I will not give, small.
In a minute:
- Listen to Petka to her approached some kind of guy ... Petka! ... Petka !! ... Where are you?

- T. Where do you work?
- In the bath ... Lifter ...
- Yes, you! Are there such a bath?!
- Not-e-e ... I brass women helping to unbutton and fasten ...
- And how much do you get?
- I get well, yes another one hundred percent of the surcharge for harm ... there is also this ... constantly standing ... Oh my God, I forgot ... Well, out of three letters ...
- What - really ...
- Oh, remembered - couples!

AND Children's man with a bag from which a broom sticks out, the woman sits on the bench.
- Where are you going, Kuzmich?
- Yes, eggs buy.
- So you got money?
- No, I go to the bathhouse.

B. Anya is divided into two parts: the Finnish sauna and the Russian Parnushka.

IN Two cocks in the bath are stuck. One cheerful, and other tortured all, rummed. Cheerful asks:
- What happened to you?
- Yes, what life! In the morning - they fuss, at lunch, they only fuss, night only, raise and jump again. Tired!
- Have you tried not to get up?
- I tried, almost ate!

- BUT Le, is it a bath? - He's, this is his brother Baloda !!!

FROM We idim yesterday in a bath with men. Beer, vodka, cognac. Unhurried conversation. Unpacitated handwhaeling hand ... A glass of beer falls on the floor and breaks down on small fragments! The owner suddenly says:
- Damn, right now, mine will come and gives us all pi * dy! Oh! That is, Pi * Dules!

P Once. Businessmen who were tired of working day having fun with girls in the sauna. One of them is calling on a mobile wife:
- Darling, where are you?
- You imagine, on Leningradka stuck in traffic!
- At 12 o'clock in the morning? And well, a sunk ....

M. Alchik at mom in the bath asks:
- Mom, what are you? - And it shows a finger .. everyone understood where.
Mom was impatient and says:
- Yes, it is nonsense, son.
They came home, and the mother says his father, they say, "next time you go with him, otherwise he began to be interested in something ..."
Well, nothing to do, my father went with him. The same story:
- Dad, and what is it?
- A, it's nonsense, son ...
The child was thinking, thought, thought, thought, then, apparently, something napped, goes and sings the song:
Like mom, nonsense is all in the hair,
And the dad is nonsense on wheels ...

Ksenia Petrovich

06.10.2015 | 874

I will tell you what you need to remember if you are going with friends to the bath.

We have a tradition with friends: every week we go to the bath. This is a great pastime option, besides health care. We communicate, relax and do not "parry."

Choosing a place

Often public baths are overloaded, besides, they have a division into men's and female parts. It is extremely uncomfortable if your company consists of girls and guys.
Usually we remove a small VIP zone where up to 10 people can fit. It is very convenient, and outsiders do not interfere with us.

Things for bath

Gathering to the bath, remember the things of Must-Have. Be sure to warn friends that they should take with them:

• 3 Towels: Big (they can be watched), average (put on the head) and small (used as a litter on which you can sit so as not to burn);
• rubber slippers;
• swimsuit or smelting;
• shampoo, shower gel or soap;
• wash

Be sure to take a broom with you, because without it it is impossible to get a maximum of benefit, staying in the steam room. Here are the best brooms:

1. Berezova - improves the condition of the skin, strengthens immunity, has a beneficial effect on the respiratory organs.
2. Oak - It is useful for people with oily skin, prone to the appearance of acne, has a soothing effect.
3. Lipova - It is useful to steam with this broom, people suffering from headaches and having a problem skin.

Food and Drinks

I speak abruptly to arrange a peer in the bath: lean on food and alcohol. This is an additional load that is harmful to the body. My friends support me - it is interesting for us to communicate without a filled table and beer.

But on the hungry stomach, it is also impossible to steam. Warn friends to two hours before the collection they ate something easy: salad, chicken with rice, soup.

Subery for bath

To prepare a shot of 2 liters of water, 200 g of honey, 2 ppm Grass of the Hypericum, some carnations, peas peppers, ginger and cinnamon. Honey launches in a glass and boiling 6-7 minutes, add spices, boiling is even about half an hour. I give it - everything, a shooting is ready.

Rules of behavior

Before you go to the steam room, my friends and I take a warm shower. In the pair, we sit as much as we can: Some - 5-7, others - 10-15 minutes. After that, we are replenished with cool water and swim in the pool. Then again in the steam room.

I advise you to unsubscribe not to overreach in a steam room and do not try to beat some unnecessary to anyone's records. In this case, it is important to remember about the moderation and take care of your own health.

In the breaks between the bath and the pool, we play

That's all! Now you are ready to visit the bath. Have a nice couple and great pastime.

On vacation with friends you can go to the sea or in the forest. It is interesting to spend time on the diversity of recreation or just in a cafe, playing billiards. Parkour, Karting, Rufing - All this is also exciting!

Rest with friends is a great opportunity to have fun and talk to souls. Recreation options are selected depending on the number of people in the company. Everything that is interesting for two or three people will not like the company from five or ten people. Masching the age of people. Youths like active rest, and for older people will suit Lunch in a cafe or a calm vacation in nature. Each company should pick up rest, given the interests of everyone, otherwise the good time will turn into a boring occupation.

Rest in the company of friends - where to go?

Modern young guys and girls prefer to spend free time In nature or in clubs. Now I don't like anyone at home, as it was a few decades ago. Moreover, there is a huge selection of entertainment, which will give up to all friends. So, where can I go to rest in the company of friends? Youth chooses such places and entertainment:

• Club rest. Dancing, loud music, new dating and flirting. The company's nightclubs are sent to have fun. Single friends will be able to find a partner here, and couples will dance, and listen to the music of famous DJs. If it seems that in his city clubs no longer an interesting occupation, but fashionable DJs did not come long ago and did not suit the parties, then you can go to any other city. New companies, new faces and dating. What could be more interesting? It will be a bright and dynamic party, as well as discontinuous fun and expression.
• Parkur. I want to reveal, show yourself, to improve and expand the boundaries of our own opportunities? Then you can devote free time to Parkour. This special kind of urban recreation is based on philosophy: borders do not exist, and any obstacles on the way can be overcome. But such a holiday should be considered if all friends in the company have certain sports skills

• Rufing. Such an industrial rest can be both extreme and romantic. Lovers of walking on the roofs call themselves "limits" or "lines". Choosing such a holiday, it is worth considering that the roofs of houses are not always equipped for walking, so it can be dangerous and risky
• Karting with friends. Fascinating and enjoyed by every young guy or a girl. You can arrange real competitions. This kind of recreation will like not only adults, but also for children. It can serve as an excellent point at the same time for several families.
• Rolling rollers or skates with friends. Such a rest can choose people of different ages. In the summer - rollers, in winter - skates. In big cities there are entertainment centers with covered rollers, on which you can skate round year. This is a safe and fascinating view of the rest. Useful exercise stress and a great way to express yourself
• Billiards with friends. It is chosen by companies that you want to have a good time with colleagues in work, partners or just good friendships. Beautiful game will allow you to distract from daily concerns and remove the nervous tension.

The best holidays with friends - how to spend it?

Currently, creative rest is increasingly popular. It is fun and helps to see old friends from the new side, revealing their talents. Such a pastime helps to disconnect from everyday fuss and tune in to something positive and good. Creative approach to rest is crazy ideas that will delight every guy or a girl.

Most best rest The company is contests. Naturally, someone should take on the duty of the cloak and pick up interesting games. The Internet will help to find games and contests that are suitable for a particular company.

The best holiday with friends is to conduct any event together. How to spend it, solved with friends, sitting at the table. It is necessary to think through all the details.

For example, for the evening under the motto "Culinary masterpiece with your own hands!", A special recipe is selected in advance. Someone purchases products, others think about each stage step-by-step recipeAnd the third offers their presentation and feeding options.

You can organize "travel around the world." The country is chosen, its culture is studied, national clothing and dishes that need to be prepared independently are selected. Some people from the company will prepare food, and others think where to take national costumes. Then they all gather together, and the holiday itself begins under the merry music itself and the presentation of their knowledge about this country. You can talk about the traditions and the most interesting realization immediately.

Activities with friends, a large company in nature

Big company - What could be more interesting and exciting? Some kind of friends knows a lot of jokes, and someone will merge their friends with stories about their travels. But the most impressive is an active holiday with a large company in nature. Companies of friends from 7-10 people and more want to go to such a place where no one will interfere with communicating and relaxing.

Tip: Lease vacation home. This will help to relax perfectly, fry kebabs and it is interesting to spend time in the company.

If there is a river nearby, then you should take with you or rent a boat to ride for the flow, enjoying positive emotions and amazing species of nature. Extreme vacation on the water is a small adventure that cannot be forgotten.

A wonderful place of rest is the forest. You need to take such things with you:

• mangal
• tent.
• warm clothes
• plaids, Safety Mattresses
• kazan for cooking, water
• funds to protect against the sun and mosquitoes

Tip: Be sure to take badminton, ball and other things and objects for moving games.

Tourism and holidays with friends - excellent tourist holidays

If friends are friendly and brave, never throw in trouble and shake the last piece of bread, then you can go to a great tourist rest. It may be a campaign for a couple of days or a longer time, to the reservoir or in the forest. Matching tourism and holidays with friends in survival conditions are even more splitting the company.

Tip: If you go to the campaign of a big and friendly company, and zador and energy overwhelm you, then arrange command contests in nature. For example, who will quickly make a good shala from the primary means or someone deeper than everyone cooks the ear from just caught fish.

You can go to the tourist campaign yourself yourself, if you know the space suitable for this, and you can seek help to the tour operator. In any case, you will need money, individual equipment, clothing and means of protection against insects.

What should be considered when collecting hike when contacting the tour operator? Instruction:

1. Examine all the offers of tour operators according to your region and choose the most suitable. When choosing another region, consider saving on the road (action of group discounts)

2. Determine expectations for the organization of a tourist trip. When it is better to go and what a hike to choose: Hiking, water, equestrian or combined

3. Watch your wishes to the tour operator and listen to what it offers. Discuss what suitable, and what options you will not consider

4. After the final decision, book a trip and make partial or full payment for the organization of the tourist

6. When everything is solved and all the nuances are clarified, arrive at the starting point at the appointed time for departure on the route

Recreation by the company to the sea - what to take with you?

The sea is always fun and an unforgettable vacation. But that this vacation is good, it is necessary to take things, clothes and other useful things, without which it is not necessary. Holidays by the company should organize one person - responsible and serious. He usually books in the hotel, buys tickets or orders tickets. Otherwise, each person thinks for himself. So what to take with you when traveling to the sea:

• clothing. No need to recruit a lot of things so that the rest was carefree and lig. If you and friends go on a trip by car, then you can take what I want. Boldly put in a suitcase various shorts, tops, swimsuits, jeans, pants, t-shirts, t-shirts, dresses, shoes. Do not forget about hats, especially for children
• Creams, ointment. Be sure to take cream from mosquitoes and for sunbathing, toothpaste and shaving cream

• Aid kit. Just in case, collect a mini-first aid kit: wool, bandage, green, leukoplasty, mezim, activated carbon and medical alcohol
• Electronic devices. Do not take all the gadgets from the house. There will be enough mobile phone, photo and camcorders, as well as a charger
• Documentation. Passport, passport, printout hotel, visa, money and plastic debit cards
• Other useful things. Cosmetics, Sunglasses, Small Umbrella and Small Board Games

Rest family and friends - recreation center for a big company

Often in the company someone from friends marries, ahead of others, but I still want to go to rest together. After all, it is only so possible to have fun and remember the former trips and exciting joint weekends.

Rest of family and friends can be held on the basis of recreation. The correct solution will be to rent several houses or cottages based on big company. Such rental is usually offered at a low price, so the costs planned for rest will be small.

Such a vacation will be filled with new emotions and special impressions. None of his friends is bred, as there are always entertainment on the territory - rent of catamarans, boats, inflatable rides, sauna and sauna, indoor pool.

How to call a wife with a friend to rest so that she agrees?

Walls usually do not like to go to rest with their husbands and their friends. They do not like to listen to male conversations about fishing, cars or some "hardware". But, if you don't want to leave my wife one house, so that she missed, then you should take it with you. How to call a wife with a friend to rest so that she agrees? It is necessary to offer her something interesting. For example, you can offer a friend so that he also invited his wife and go on vacation by the company.

Tip: Teach his wife to catch fish. Many women like this occupation, and they gladly go with her husband fishing.

Tip: If you go hunting with a friend, then buy everything you need for my wife. She will be interested in walking along with you in the woods in search of game or rabbit. Refuse to his wife on vacation, as to your to the best friend, then she will be interested in spending time with you.

Rest with friends in a sauna with a swimming pool

A real sauna is a great place to relax, hold various events and meetings of friends. Free space, swimming pool, recreation rooms, steam room and cozy interior - all this has a good rest with friends in a sauna with a swimming pool. In addition to an excellent rest, each of the friends will receive such advantages:

• favorable effect on body systems
• informal communication for communication
• fascinating pastime
• contrast water treatments

All this will help relax and leave pleasant memories of rest with friends.

Rest with friends - Russian Bath

Russian bath on firewood with a parille is a favorite entertainment of many people. This is an excellent way to cope with fatigue, stress and restore your strength. Such a vacation with friends in the Russian bath will definitely remember.

Currently, a similar type of relaxation offers businessmen who build single-storey or two-story rooms with the interior "under the old days". There are such a bathhouse in each, even the smallest city, as it loves almost everything.

Rest with friends - Fishing, Hunting

Fishing and hunting adore all men and some women.

Important: If in your company most guys or men love to sit with a fishing rod or walk in the woods in search of mining, then you should go fishing or hunting.

Such a vacation with friends will bring a lot of positive emotions, and Relax away from the city bustle helps to forget about problems and different things. Clean air, virgin nature, the abundance of decent trophies - all this leads to delight.

To go to nature with friends in the first spring days or in the summer, which may be better. Bone, fresh air, swimming - all this brings joy. But such a pastime can hone and danger to health.

Tip: If you go on holidays with friends on nature with children, then follow your children so that they do not play and did not run away from you, especially if you relax in the forest.

The fire is not only entertainment, but also a danger. After all, if you go close to the flame, then clothes can flash. It is especially interesting to play children who do not know about such a danger. The task of parents is to follow their children.

Tip: Be sure to take on the nature of warm clothes, since the early spring is still cold and warm dining sun warms not long. By evening, it will be cool.

During swimming, you should also look after the kids who try to swim on their own.

Tip: Do not go to the water when drinking hot drinks. And do not let the child of a child of one unattended, as it is worth only to turn away, and he will already swim.

Before going to any trip, it is necessary to prepare for it, even if it is carefree with friends. It is necessary to think through everything to the smallest detail so that the rest was not spoiled.

Tip: Take with you only proven people in which you are sure.

Important: If you are going to drink alcohol in nature, there must be at least one sober person who will keep the situation under control.

Plan everything in advance so that the rest will not be presented with surprises. Have a nice holiday with friends to the sea or nature!